When ABBA attacks…

Posted by jswt | Posted in Finland - Turku, General | Posted on 03-10-2009


So last night we got back to the hotel around 11 and decided a glass of wine was called for. We’ve been here almost a week, and since we have a rule to try and avoid hotel restaurants/lobbies and see the city, we’d failed to realize that we’re staying on top of a labyrinth of an entertainment district. It’s seriously a cruise ship buried under the hotel. Endless bars, pubs, restaurants, a nightclub that leads into another bar, and even a full on casino we didn’t know was here.

We settled into the first lounge with our glasses of red, and ran into a couple of Chris’ coworkers. It was mere moments thereafter that we were descended upon by a dozen blonde, blue eyed Swedish and Finnish girls that were so perfectly aryan dream that I felt we were under sexbomb attack from Hitler’s Harem. The four of us were each matched up with 3-4 blonde vixens who were fantastically vapid, and hornyagressive enough that they wouldn’t stop buying us drinks… Of course, in my duty of getting the guys we were with laid by Abba clones, I was more than happy to play the role of flirtatious wingman (and maybe flirting with the open tab had something to do with it too – heh).

Of course, straight men don’t dance, so when we all ended up in one of the nightclubs, I was sacrificed as the designated dancer. Music was good, club was packed, but after a few drinks and a couple remixes of Sexy Back, I was surrounded by a sea of blonde sharks. Scandinavian women are rather agressive and forward, and one after another I was being savaged on the dancefloor, and ground up against to the point that I’m going to have to find a dry cleaner to wash them off of my jeans.

It took a few tries, but the Russ Meyer’s casting call finally let me go to chat up my friends, and I decided it was time to escape while I still had my decency (and relative sobriety) intact. The guys we were with were still surrounded by their own blonde clusters, so we bid them farewell and crashed out around 2.

It does strange things to your dreams to be woken up at 9am to an Oom-pah-pah band playing in the square across the street, but that left enough time for breakfast and this post before heading off to the venue for double shows today.

And maybe even time to find a laundromat…

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