Pensacola is the taint of America.

Posted by jswt | Posted in USA - FL - Pensacola | Posted on 09-11-2012

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Pensacola Florida for 4 days during the US election. It started off with my cabbie blasting FOX news radio, and when I claimed ignorance of American politics he took that as a cue to inform me all about the evils of Obama. It didn’t take much prodding and shitdisturbing before he said he’d be thankful for his guns if that muslim, socialist got re-elected.

Yes, this is Pensacola, Florida.
Geographically, Florida is America’s penis.
Mentally, Pensacola is the taint.

I’ve given Florida a good chance now, with time spent in Tampa, Orlando, and Lakeland (shudder), and though I’ve been told that the Keys and Miami are awesome, I’ll be happy if I never have to return.

Seriously, this place is a devoid of most everything I value… It’s a vapid soulless vacation destination for Alabama and the Jersey Shore full of toxic oil dispersant beaches and deep fryer cuisine. It’s braindeath by blonde hair bleach, pretending it doesn’t have a cancerous silicone core of leaky discount boob jobs.

Thankfully, we were only there a few days, but even in that time I could feel my mental capacities start to dwindle, and actually developed a drawwwwwl — there’s seriously something in the water or air down there that makes people stupid.

The only good thing I can really say about the place is that it will be one of the first places taken care of by rising sea levels.

Not a fan.

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